Funny SMS Messages



Funny SMS Messages : - The best collection of the Funny SMS Messages, Funny Jokes Messages, Funny Text SMS are sorted out in a impressive way on our website. As everyone is fucked up with their daily life routine that they need these kind of laughing stuff to release the pressure of the mind and give some stretch to their cheeks. As Funny Message Jokes can boost up the mind in seconds. Once a person hear a new joke in no time he used to forward it to his friend circle or to every group they have in their smart phones. Some people search for the Funny SMS Messages For Friends on the web so that they can find a new stuff for their friends in which they can tag their friends. As everyone is so connected to the gadgets and social media that if a new Best Funny Messages in hindi, english come in the market in no time it gets viral.


Cool Funny Text Messages

Funny SMS Messages
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Never think of the past, it brings tears...
If you think of the future, it brings fears...
So, live life in the present and drink chilled beers!

Bikhari: 50 paise de do. Maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai.
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.

Husband: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

God created the earth,
God created the woods,
God created you too,
But then, even God makes mistakes sometimes!

Phonebook Dilemma
Why are there no phone books in China?
Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's,
They r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.



Funny SMS Messages
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If u read this, I'm Smart.
If u save this, you agree that I'm Smart.
If u fwd this, u r spreading that I'm Smart &
If u delete this, u r jealous coz I'm Smart

Sardar bulb par apne baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap: Kya kar rahe ho?
Sardar: Aap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.

After engagement!
Girl: Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!
Boy: Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet,
that doesn’t mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D

World most never be late message ever
I will be there in 5 minutes.
If not, read this again.

Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?
Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.



Catch her by her waist...
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a ...
...nice drink...PEPSI

God thought that since
he couldn't b everywhere
he made a mother.
Then devil thought that
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law..

I Have Saved My Girl Friend Number As "LOW BATTERY"
So Whenever She Calls & I Am Not Around
My Wife Plugs My Phone To The Charger :p

A man received message from his neighbour.
Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.
Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.
Few minutes later he received another massage.
Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake ...
it's not wife but WIFI.

girl : if you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi
boy : lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai
girl : i know per formality to karni hi padegi


Funny SMS For Whatsapp

Funny SMS Messages
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Tourism is the next big thing. All countries are attracting their tourists with their taglines: Amazing Thailand, Incredible India, Truly Asia…

In the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?", a man asks the trainer. Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Never steal. The government hates competition.

Have you ever noticed that a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes” and a man’s “I’ll be home in 5 minutes” are exactly the same 😀 😀 A man and a woman are proportional to each other :\ 😛

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … now read without the word dog.

This is unbeatable!!!
Guard enters Sonia Gandhi’s office- “Madam aapka MMS aaya hai!!”
Sonia Gandhi- Oh Noo!!
Manmohan Singh enters: “Kamino. Mera poora naam liya karo.” 😀 😛

If I've learnt anything from Mayans then it's that..not finishing a project is not the end of the world.

A boy at Marine Drive in romantic mood to his girlfriend: “I can see the whole world in your eyes.” One Mumbaikar was passing-by. He asks, “Arey Ghatkopar pe traffic hai kya dekh na please.” 😛 😀 😀

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.

New style dhamki by Biwi~
Tum jitna time WhatsApp and Facebook ko doge,
main utna time Jabong, Flipkart, Amazon ko dungi! 😛 😛

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out of it alive.

My "last seen at" was just to check your "last seen at"

"Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium? Sardar: BA Professor:For sodium? Sardar: NA Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? Sardar: BANANA "

A women saying, "I'm not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "you won't feel a thing".

Congratulations!!My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.

Well, enough about me, let's talk about you. What do you think about me?

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in horrific bills.

Funny SMS Messages
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Had to tab ho gai jab Bihaar mein ladate hue ek aurat ne doosari se kaha, "bhagvaan kare agale saal tera beta Top kar jaaye."

Akshay's new movie that's about to release - Toilet.
How would you ask your friends out for the movie?
Chalo Toilet Chalte Hain.
And Whatsapp status updates?
At toilet with GF and two other friends!

Bivi Ny Us Ko Dekhty Hi Kaha:
TV Per To Bata Rahy Thy K
Tum 8 Bajy K Bhaagy Huwe Ho,
Itni Dair Kahan Thy.??

Ek Aurat Molvi K Pass Ja Ker Boli:
'Janab Me Ny Suna Hai K
Takabbur Bohat Bada Gunah Hai,
Per Me Jab Bhi Sheesha Dekhti Hun
Mujhy Apni Khubsurti Per Bada
Takabbur Ata Hai,
Me Is Gunah Se Kese Bachu.??

Tery Golden Face Ki Beauty Ny,
Mery Komaal Heart Py Attack Kia,
Sbko Reject Kia Tumko Select Kia,
Requst Hy Tum Sy Isy Refuse Na Krna,
Mery Pyar K Is Bulb Ko Kbhi Fusse Na Krna…!!!

Jab koi itna khas Ban jaye
Uske Bare Me sochna Ehsas Ban jaye
To Mang lena khuda se use zindgi bhar k liye,
Isse pehle ki uski MAA kisi aur ki SAAS Ban jaye.

When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose…

1 ldki prfum lga k bus pe chadi. Ldke ne coment pas kiya.
Aajkl phinel ka use kuch zyada h hota hai.
Ldki boli fir bhi cockroch picha nhi chorte

Importance of thumb- Child use it4sucking.
Illiterate people use it4sign,
Winners4victory & my FANS use it4reading
my sms Oh U too? Crazy Fan

Bahu ke 1-2 afair sunkar
PATI ne jaan de di
3-4 afair sunkar SASUR ne jaan de di.
Lekin SAAS chup rahi kyu?
KYUKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI

Life without u is impossible,
u r in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without u,
if u r not there i am dead
oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN

he came 2 me 1 nite ........
explored my body........
licked-sucked-swallowed & had his fill........
when satisfied he left..........
i was hurt..............................

damn mosquito!

In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know who's that boy?
Stupid It's Lifeboy Soap!
Dirty people always think dirty.

Girl: What do you like in me?
Boy: Those who white big balls having black dots in it.
Girl: Whattt???
Boy: Yes i like your eyes. Its really beautiful...

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means - With Idiot for Ever
Judge: U r crossing the limits.

Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
liya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…

1980 GIRL
Mama can I wear jeans.
Mama no beta log kia kahng ge.
2006 GIRL
Mama can I wear miny skirts
Mama pahen meri bachi pahen kuch to pahen.

Funny Messsages In Hindi For FB

Funny SMS Messages
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Sardar ji jab exam dene gaye toh woh
apne saath Plumber ko kyun le gaye?
Kyunki Sardarji ko information mili thi
k Paper leak ho gaya hai:

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It’s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go

Santa: Aaj men ne 1 jan bachai
Banta: Woh Kaisay?
Santa: Vo aise k ek Faqir ko pucha
1000 ka note dun to kya karega
Wo Bola
Khushi se mar jaunga
Me ne kaha ja nahi deta

Bruce Lee’s favorite,
VEGETABLE: MU LEE
BREAKFAST: ID LEE
FESTIVAL: DIVA LEE
ACTRESS: SONA LEE
MUSIC: QWAA LEE
MOVIE: COO LEE No. 1
ANIMAL: BIL LEE
TIMEPASS: KHUJ LEE

Kya apko ladkian pasand hai?
Kya aap ladkion ki baten sunna chahte hai?
Kya aap hmesha ladkio se ghire rehna chahte hai? . . .
To beta Golgappe ka thela laga lo.

पत्नी: – शादी के बाद तुम मुझसे प्यार नही
करते अब।
पति: एग्जाम क्लियर होने के बाद कौन
पढ़ता है यार…???

आज स्मार्टफोन का साईड इफेक्ट देखने
को मिला है…!!!
सुबह जब में रास्ते से गुजर रहा था, तो सामने ही
एक आदमी अखबार पढ़ रहा था । और
वो अखबार में छपे फोटो को भी उंगलियों से Zoom करने की
कोशिश कर रहा था…

भला हो गर्मी के मौसम का कम से कम इसी बहाने, देश की बहू बेटियाँ सर से पल्ला ओढ़ कर तो चल रही है! 🙂 😆

यआज मैंने इक दोस्त के 3 बार फोन करयो उने एक बार भी नी उठायो, फिर मैेने एक मैसेज भेज्यो “वा थारा नम्बर मांगी री थी”, 30 बार फोन अई गयो अब मैं नी उठई रियो हूँ. 😜😝😁

Employee : “हेलो बॉस, मुझे टेररिस्ट ने पकड़ लिया है, दोनों हाथ काट दिए, आँख फोड़ दी, किडनी निकाल ली ” Boss : देख ले…. हो सके तो आजा, आज Audit है. 😝😝😝

Wife -आप मुझे रानी क्यों बोलते हो,
Husband- क्योंकि नौकरानी लम्बा शब्द हो जाता है, 😜
Wife गुस्से से 😡 : तुम्हे पता है कि में तुम्हे “जान” क्यों बोलती हूँ,
Husband: नहीं.. बताओ तो जरा
Wife: “जानवर” लम्बा शब्द हो जाता है इसलिए सिर्फ “जान” बोल देती हूँ. 😝😜😝😜

Funny SMS Messages
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पापा और 12 साल का बेटा एक होटल में गए, पापा- वेटर एक बियर 🍺 और एक आईसक्रीम लाओ 🍦, बेटा – आईसक्रीम 🍦 क्यों पापा, आप भी बियर 🍺 लीजिये ना, दे..चप्पल 👟..पे..चप्पल 👟.

एक लड़का अचानक लड़की देखकर शायर बन गया, 😂 ” लफ्ज़ तेरे, गीत मेरे, ग़ज़ल कोई सुना डालू क्या ? “ लड़की बोली ” हाथ मेरे, गाल तेरे, कान के निचे बजा डालू क्या ? 😝😜😁

Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.
Sagar se gahara koi nahi.,
Aab aapki kya tarif karu...,
Dost me aap jaisa...,
Nalayak koi nahi!

मोहब्बत में जब मुझे धोखा मिला
तो ज़िन्दगी में चारो ओर उदासी छा गयी
सोचा था की आग लगा दूंगा इस दुनिया को
पर कम्भख्त कॉलोनी में दूसरी आ गयी

हसीनों से मिलें नज़रें अट्रैक्शन हो भी सकता है,
चढ़े फीवर मोहब्बत का तो एक्शन हो भी सकता है,
हसीनों को मुसीबत तुम समझ कर दूर ही रहना,
ये अंग्रेजी दवाएं हैं रिएक्शन हो भी सकता है..!! 😛

पप्पु बहूत देर से एक लड़की को घुर रहा था,
लड़की :- तेरे घर में माँ बहन नहीं है क्या?
पप्पु :- है न तभी तो देख रहा हुँ,
क्योंकि माँ को बहू और बहन को भाभी चाहिए…
☺☺☺

उसने पूछा क्या पसंद है तुम्हें ? मैं कितनी देर उसकी सहेली को घूरता रहा

दिल चाहता है ज़ोर – ज़ोर से तालीयाँ बजाऊँ और बीच में उसका मुँह हो

मोहब्बत और कुछ करे या ना करे, मोबाईल 📱जरूर साईलेंट करवा देती है

मुकद्दर में रात की नींद नही… तो क्या हुआ…?? हम भी मुकद्दर के सिकन्दर हैं… दोपहर को सो जाते हैं…

Funny Jokes Messages For Friends

Everyone loves to read a Funny Joke or Funny SMS Messages in their mobile phones which are forwarded by the friends, siblings or Family members. As jokes are not related to any age group we can forward it to anyone and make him laugh. Everyday you receive so many Funny SMS Messages In Hindi and Funny SMS Messages In English in your whatsapp group that you read and laugh. Share the fun with the latest Funniest messages and make your buddies laugh.

Funny SMS Messages
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Subah ko haste ho,
Sham ko haste ho,
Raat ko haste ho,
Aate time haste ho,
Jate time haste ho,
Kay samajte ho,
Aap akele hi brush karte ho.

Bazu-o-me dam rakhta hoon,
Dil me gam rakhta hoon,
aapki dosti ke baad,
logo se wasta kam rakhta hoon,
Pata tha mujhe SMS aayega,
isiliye Disprin sath rakhta hoon.

Agar zinda ho to 4/5 sms bhejo,
Markar aasmaan mein ho toh barish bhejo,
Agar swarg mein ho toh apsara bhejo,
Aur agar nark mein ho toh enjoy yourself!

When somebody who’s deeply in love with you
tells you that you’re cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree.
That’s true, believe me, I swear.
Cause love is blind!

Difference between Best Friend & Just Friend:
When U r in hospital
Just Friend asks:
Tabiyat kaisi hai?
Best Friend asks:
Nurse kaisi hai?

Love Is Like A Pant
But Friendship
Is Like A Chaddi
Bcoz
Pant Phat Bhi Jaye To
Chaddi Izzat Bacha Leti Hai
So Thanx 4 Being My
Chaddi Friend…

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U
forGet but how U forGive,
Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand,
Not what U see but how U feel,
and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

Love Is Like A Pant
But Friendship
Is Like A Chaddi
Bcoz
Pant Phat Bhi Jaye To
Chaddi Izzat Bacha Leti Hai
So Thanx 4 Being My
Chaddi Friend…

True friends are like
Diamonds... they are real
and rare. False friends are
like leaves... they are
scattered everywhere.

Funny SMS Messages
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How does Lazy person like u
Take bath during winters :
Stands in front of mirror,
throws water on the mirror
n says
“Chak de Fatte, Aaj too naha he liya fir”

Sacha Dost Wo Hai Jo
Apki Aankhon Mian Us Waqt
Dard Dekh Leta Hai
Jab Duniya Kah Rahi Ho Yaar
Tum Muskurate
Bohat Ho!!…

Dosti…
Sabd Nahi Jo Kaha Jae
Ruh Nahi Jo Mukam Pae
Ye Vo Ehsaas Hai
Jiske Liye Jiya Jae
To Zindgi Kam Pad Jae…

Aik Rupia Aik Lakh Nahi Hota
Magar Phir B Rupia Lakh Se Nikal Jaye
To Wo Lakh Nahi Rehta
Hum Aap K Lakhon Doston Mein Bus
Wohi Aik Rupia Hain..!…

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe...

Hurf Nahi Jo Mit Jaye
Umar Nahi Jo Dhal Jaye
Safar Nahi Jo Mukam Paye
Ye Wo Ehsas He Jiske Liye
Agar Jiya Jaye
Tou
Zindagi Kam Par Jaye…

Funny SMS Messages
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Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga,
Ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga
Pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun
Phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga

Main agr mar b jaun,
To aye dost fikar mat krna,
Aansu b mat bahana,
Mri arthi b mat uthana,
Seedhe upar chale aana,
Dono mil ke aish karenge.

Talent Merit to mere mein koot-koot ke bhara hai, phark bas itana hai ki thoda baarik koot diya, ab nikal hi nahin raha.

Petrol aur Diesel ka RATE badhane ki itani aadat pad gayi hai ki ab to jab 15 din RATE na badhen to aisa lagata hai ki kaheen vikaas (Development) hona band to nahin ho gaya.

Pucha mujhse chand sitaro ne,
tuje bhula diya kya tere jigari yaro ne,
maine kaha, bhul to nhi skte,
bas lage honge kamine kisi ko patane me.....funny sms for friends dost

Chicken ready? Yes boss
Fish ready? Yes boss
Amlet ready? Yes boss
Mutton ready? Nahi boss
Bakra abhi sms padh raha hai!!!

Har mod ka mukam nhi hota,
dil ke risto ka koi naam nhi hota,
DISCOVERY ki help se khoja hai aapko
warna aap jaise prajati ka milna aasan nhi hota

College me school ki yaad aayi
Jawani mai bachpan ki yaad aayi
Kanto ko chua to gulaab ki yaad aayi
Aur aaj TV me ek bakri ko dekha to
2mhari yaad aayi.

Where r u?
U r u not replying?
I m worried coz todays paper
I read that due 2 thunder a monkey
has been severely injured.
So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.

Funny SMS Messages
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Funny SMS For Girlfriend/Boyfriend

Funny SMS help a student to cheer his mood when they bored at study or to to boost the mind of an employee when they are working as employee. As Funny Jokes do not need an occasion to send and make other laugh to. We tried hard to present you with the most latest Funny SMS Messages For Her, Funny SMS Messages For Him so that you can save your time finding a good stuff on other website and get everything under one roof.

Funny SMS Messages
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You are like a bright sun as your blazing love can even make the stars fade away. Good morning, dearest!

Being able to have you by my side is a blessing only a few have, I feel like the luckiest man in the world for getting to know you and for winning your love.

I can no longer say how big my love for you is, I've already used all the words and phrases, all I can do is send this message saying that I love you.

Someone asked me how was life, and I just smiled and responded: "She's fine".

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves,

What is love? In math: an equation; in history: a war; in chemistry: a reaction; in art: a heart; in me: YOU..

"WHEN NITES R LONG AND FRENS R FEW...I SIT ALONE N THINK OF YA...WITH LOVELY HEART AND SILENT TEAR...ALL I WISH IS U TO BE HERE...miss ya..!!!

Never kiss a police officer, she will say, hands up. Never kiss a doctor, she will say, next please. Always kiss a teacher, she will say, repeat it five times.

Love is a natural phenomenon that exist in minds and brains of people.

I'm so glad you are a part of my life, because you bring out the best in me.

Funny SMS Messages
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Heres a little hug for you To make you smile when youre blue, To make you happy if youre sad, To let you know life aint so bad!

The smallest word is I, the sweetest word is Love and the dearest person in the world is you. thats why I Love You :)

If U like me ya hate me both is advantageous & beneficial to me!!!Bcoz if u like me Ill be in ur heart & if U hate me Ill be in ur mind....

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, the opportunist.

My Girlfriend said she want to change her wardrobe and I sent her a carpenter.

I'm not a gambler but I've just allowed my heart and my mind to bet that I will never stop loving you...

To meet & depart is the way of life,But to depart & meet is the hope of life.We meet to create memories,But we depart to preserve it....

In my life I learned how 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I couldn't learn how.. 2 stop remembering u.By ikram marwat

when all the season will be dry, when all the bird leave the sky, when all friends say u good bye, U will found me there to say hi

Funny SMS Messages
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Touch my heart & ull feel, Listen to my heart & ull hear, Look into my heart & ull see, That ull always be a special part of me.

When u feel lonely, press ____ (first four letters of ur cell no).
If U miss me, press __ (next 2 digits),
want a smile, press __ (next 2 digits),
need encouragement, press __ (next 2 digits),
press them all together and U can hear me!

Love is something special, a treasure I want to find...To others, love is blind but for me, its not true, Coz..When I fell in love...I saw you.By Uzzal

God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day...and I just caught one that's so nice and true...it's YOU !By Uzzal

Ihav found a new man acarrying man,btfl en kind if you wanna knw my knew man jst go2 de mirror en you wll see him standing there

I know u are a dreamer But sorry boy i am not a beliver.

Some Girls Need To Stop Acting Like Clientele Life Covering 13 Guys With 1 Private Part ,its not a Funeral Cover

Love is like a android phone . It always gives fun and excitment :)

My Girlfriend said she want to change her wardrobe and I sent her a carpenter.

See You Later Alligator ^_^)/ In A While Crocodile /.^)/

No matter where we come from,who we are and where we are our love is valid.

Your ass is grass and I'm a power lawn mower. Are you allergic to misquotes cause your bites are swelling up. Is that your face or did your neck through up?

God is busy let me help you :P :P :P

Funny SMS Messages
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Funny SMS Messages
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Best Funny SMS Messages For Love

As we are offering you guys a wide range of these SMS which you have to select and you can forward it from our website only.

Funny SMS Messages
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Funny SMS Messages
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