Funny Jokes

Funny Jokes : - If anyone wants to refresh his mind from work or study then what is better than the Funny Jokes. Receiving joke every moment from our friends is very common and they can be Funny Adult Jokes also on which we laugh and in no time we forward it to all other friends as we laugh on it and as laughter is a feeling which increases on sharing as some add ons are obvious by the friends to make the jokes even more good. As everyday you may go across with a new and Latest Funny JokesIn hindi which you read and laugh. Here on this page you will get unique and latest Funny Jokes as we time to time update them with an entirely new stuff. As these jokes are enough to make someone’s day. When they receive such hindi Funny Jokes no matter what mood they have at that time a laugh or a smile is definite to come on their face.

Cool Funny Jokes Messages

funny jokes

Q: What goes Ha-ha-ha-ha!, thud!!! and keeps laughing?
A: A monster laughing it’s head off!

I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That stings extra hard—I’m like the one thing she can get rid of.

Man: I feel like I have seen you somewhere before. I can't remember though.
Woman: Yes, you have. Which is why I have stopped going there altogether.

Just after a maid had been fired, she took 5 bucks and threw it at the family dog. When asked by her former employee, the maid answered, "I never forget a friend who helped me, I gave him 5 bucks for helping me clean the dishes all the time..

Man: Hey there beautiful. Can I know what's your sign?
Woman: No admission without permission.

What was the snail doing on the highway?
It was traveling one mile a day!

Man: Would you like to go to your place or mine? You decide.
Woman: I'd like to choose both. You can go to yours, and I'll peacefully go to mine.

funny jokes

How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go!

Man: I've been dying to tell you that your body is like a temple to me.
Woman: Sorry, night services are closed.

What do you get when you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the Pooh!

Man: I would do anything for you. Even if you ask me to go to the ends of the world, I will.
Woman: Promise me you won't return.

In which room we cannot live?

What do two oceans do when they meet?

Jokes Jokes About Women

funny jokes

Crying is like blackmail to us.

In PK Movie Radio is used in upcoming sizzling Movie Julie 2 magazine is used Radio or Magazine media always hide important things from us. (-.*)

Please learn to live with the idea that we're not thinking about you every second.

When I reply "yes" and "no" to your questions, they are absolutely acceptable answers to all your questions.

Son refuses to disclose Half Girlfriend to his father, says he's protected by Right to Privacy

Sweetheart, we don't really like to remember birthdays and anniversaries. So, why don't you just mark them on the calendar and remind me in advance.

3-time Bermuda Triangle survivor unable to patch up with girlfriend

Whenever I'm quiet, don't ask me what I'm thinking about. Not unless you want to talk about new gadgets, star wars, or anything related to sports.

Let me be honest with you. We are not going to be like we were the first few months of us dating. So you need to get over it and stop complaining it to your girlfriends.

funny jokes

Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.

What's the matter with you and leaving the toilet seat up? Learn to work it properly and leave it down. You need it to be down, we want it to be up. You never hear us whining about you keeping it down.

Young Man: Why do I find so many stones in my Pulaav? Waitress: Sir, if I'm not wrong, you ordered 'Kashmiri Pulaav'!

When you want something from us, just ask for it. No subtle hints, no strong hints, no obvious hints. Say it.

Yesterday at Delhi Metro, 2 Chinese girls & an Indian girl were sitting in front of me. But I was looking at the Indian girl only. Boycott means Boycott!

Do we look like mind readers to you? We never were, are, or will be. The lack of ability to read your minds does not prove that we care less for you.

One of my friends is pregnant. And I’m really excited. Not for the baby but because she’s one of my skinniest friends.

We really don't like to hassle ourselves when you say "nothing is wrong". We will believe you and get back to what we were doing before.

Funny Jokes For Whatsapp

As there are many trending Funny Jokes in the market of Santa Banta, Husband Wife, teachers or on politician but among all the husbands all over the worlds like to read the jokes of Husband and wife. As there are very funny incident happened between these one soul it can be converted it into the form of Funny Corny Jokes which made us laugh. Here we are with a large collection of the mixture of such jokes which you can share by the social media sites like Whatsapp, Twitter, Facebook and other ones.

funny jokes

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her. Hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. You may need this person to finish a sentence.

Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level; it’s cheaper.

Wanted to buy: playpen, cradle, high chair; also two single beds.

I think the expression “It’s a small world” is really a euphemism for “I keep running into people I can’t stand

Toilet Ek Prem Katha earns more than the revenue of Sulabh Sauchalayas across the country. True to say "Anything Love Can Do"

Ransomware does not attacked Aadhar because they do not have Aadhar number

In Indian 2 Class are very sad One is Muslim Women and other is Hindu Man One is sad for getting Divorced. Other is sad for not to get Divorce.

Today's Private Hospital is Nothing More then Toll Plaza between Earth and Heaven

Very very funny definition of new fasion designing trend... Wat is FASHION DESIGNING? Too many talented Brains working on Too little clothes with Too many ideas on how 2 cover; Too little areas.. To expose smartly N Boldly

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
A dinosnore!

What language do they speak in Cuba?

Funny Jokes For Kids

funny jokes

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!"

Q: What did 0 say to 8?
A: Nice belt!"

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!"

Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!"

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet."

Q: How do bees get to school?
A: They take the school buzz, of course!"

Q: Why are seagulls called seagulls?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!"

Q: What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle's back?
A: Wheeee!"

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
A: He wanted to go to high school."

Q: What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A: A milk shake! "

Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
A: Pencil-vania."

Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A: A bunny ribbit."

Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!"

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner!"

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it."

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!"

Q: Which flower talks the most?
A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!"

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese!"

Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You're a fun guy [fungi]."

Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: To the moo-vies!"

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get an earring?
A: About a buck an ear [buccaneer]!"

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An impasta!"

Q: Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse."

Q: What kind of lion never roars?
A: A dandelion!"

Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: Arrrrrr!"

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste."

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9."

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools!"

Q: What time do you go to the dentist?
A: At tooth-hurty!"

Funny Jokes In Hindi For FB

funny jokes

दुकानदार : कैसा सूट दिखाऊँ ? महिला : पड़ोसन तड़प – तड़प कर दम तोड़ दे ऐसा ……

कुछ तो पढ़ी लिखी होगी गर्मी …. वरना इतनी डिग्रीयाँ लेकर कौन घूमता है ?

टीचर (स्टूडेंट से) : सेमेस्टर सिस्टम से क्या फायदा है, बताओ? स्टूडेंट : फायदा तो पता नहीं, पर बेइज्जती साल में दो बार हो जाती है

टीचर : वाक्य को अंग्रेजी में ट्रांसलेट करो ‘वसंत ने मुझे मुक्का मारा’ संजू : वसन्तपंचमी

टीचर: नालायक पढ़ ले कभी तुने अपनी कोई बुक खोल के देखी है?😒 संजू : हाँ मैं रोज़ खोलता हूँ एक बुक! टीचर : कौन सी? संजू : फेसबुक

टीचर : मैं 2 वाक्य दूंगा आपको उसमें अंतर बताना है 1. उसने बर्तन धोये 2. उसे बर्तन धोने पड़े संजू : पहले वाक्य में कर्ता अविवाहित है और दुसरे वाक्य में कर्ता विवाहित है। टीचर अभी तक बेहोश है।

इंजीनियरिंग के स्टूडेन्ट – Sir, हमने कॉलेज में एक ऐसी चीज बनाई है…जिसकी सहायता से आप दीवार के आर-पार देख सकते हैं… सर (खुश होते हुए) – वाह ! क्या बात है…क्या चीज है वह 😊😊? स्टुडेन्ट – छेद…😂😂😂😂😂 सर – दे थप्पड़… दे थप्पड़…

संता पेड़ पर उल्टे लटके हुए था, बंता ने पूछा – क्या हो गया? संता- कुछ नहीं, सिर दर्द की गोली खाई है, कहीं पेट में ना चली जाए.!!!

संता का सर फट गया…. डॉक्टर:- ये कैसे हुआ? संता:-मैं ईंट से पत्थर तोड़ रहा था। एक आदमी ने मुझसे कहा, “कभी खोपड़ी का इस्तेमाल भी कर लिया कर।

मोन्टू : तुम्हारी आँख क्यों सूजी हुई है ? बन्टू : कल मैं अपनी पत्नी के जन्मदिन पर केक लेकर गया था मोन्टू : लेकिन इसका आँख सूजने से क्या संबंध है? बन्टू : मेरी पत्नी का नाम तपस्या है लेकिन cake वाले बेवकूफ दुकानदार ने लिख दिया “Happy Birthday समस्या”

जब शादीशुदा आदमी कहे कि वो सोच कर बताएगा तो इसका सीधा सीधा मतलब होता है वो अपनी पत्नी से पूछ कर बताएगा

दो पड़ोसन आपस में बात कर रही थी पहली पड़ोसन: तुम्हे पता है 24 साल तक मेरे कोई औलाद नहीं हुई दूसरी पड़ोसन : तो फिर तूने क्या किया ? 😮😮😮 पहली पड़ोसन : जब मैं 24 साल की हुई तब घरवालों ने जाके मेरी शादी करवाई फिर कहीं जाकर मुन्ना हुआ 😬😝😜 दूसरी पड़ोसन ICU में भर्ती है

आजकल के बच्चों से तो मच्छर ज्यादा responsible है 😬😝😜 शाम होते ही घर तो आ जाते हैं

संजू ने कल अपनी छोटी सी मासूम भतीजी से पुछा बताओ बिल्ली पूँछ क्यों हिलाती है ? भतीजी : क्यूंकि पूँछ उसकी है वो जो मर्जी करे

बंटू : वेटर, ऐसी चाय पिलाओ जिसे पीकर मन झूम उठे और बदन नाचने लगे वेटर: सर हमारे यहां भैंस का दूध आता है, नागिन का नहीं

संजू : पंडित जी , किसी सुंदर लड़की का हाथ पाने के लिए क्या करूं? पंडित जी: किसी मॉल के बाहर मेहंदी लगाने का काम शुरू कर दे…

सुनाता हूँ अपने स्कूल की प्रेमकहानी, 👇 👇 एक थी टॉपर जो % की थी रानी, ☺ ☺ फिर …..फिर क्या ??? हमने पटा ली…..और….. फेल हो गई महारानी.

लड़का : एक ही कपडे पहन के रोज घूमती हो अजीब नहीं लगता ? लड़की : ये मेरी ऑफिस यूनिफार्म है साले बेरोजगार

लड़का: तुम बहुत खूबसूरत हो। लड़की: ओह जानू। लड़का: तुम तो बिल्कुल परियों जैसी हो। लड़की: सच में? लड़का: हाँ। लड़की: और क्या कर रहे हो अभी? लड़का: मज़ाक।

लड़की: जानू, बताओ जब मैं हँसती हूँ तो कैसी लगती हूँ? लड़का: ऐसे लगता है जैसे, नोकिया 1100 हैंग हो गया हो।

Funny Jokes For Friends

funny jokes

Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant! Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop. Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out,”don’t, stop, don’t, stop.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

funny jokes

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

funny jokes

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

funny jokes

Funny Jokes For Girlfriend/Boyfriend

funny jokes

Boy: Do you wanna Go Out Wid Me??
Girl: No... Never
Boy: Did U hear wt I Just Said ??
Girl: Yeah
Boy: Then Tell me wt I Said
Girl: Do You wanna Go Out wid ME??
Boy: Yeah Ofcourse.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

My girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

LuV is an illusion!
Its a highly dependency disorder
of weak hearted ppl...
Ppl wid strong hearts
believe in FLIRTING ;-)

Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you."
Girl: "Is that you or the beer talking?"
Boy: "It's me talking to the beer."

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

funny jokes

How do you properly make love to a fat woman?
Roll her around in flour and find the wet spot!

Meaningful message for life:
Sea is never large, but sight of our viewing is larger!!
No one's Love is lesser but our expectations r higher!

Human fall in love,
that is normal.
cows eat grass,
that is ok.
But when monkey
press mobile keyboard
Are you still pressing?

If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want my ex's. It's never been used.

funny jokes

Who is the perfect husband?
One who keeps his mouth shut and his checkbook open!

Height Of Begging!!
A sleeping beggar puts up
A notice board in front of him:
"Please do not make noise
By dropping coins
Offer notes"

Love iz like a cloud...
love iz like a dream...
love iz 1 word & everything in between...
love iz a fairytale come true...
Coz I found love when I found U.

When time comes 4 u 2 give ur heart.
2 some1, make sure that u select.
Some1 who will never break ur heart.
Bcoz broken hearts has no spr parts.

funny jokes

Funny Jokes In Hindi For Love

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funny jokes
funny jokes
funny jokes
funny jokes